The One Thing I Could Never Admit
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: Hakkai is gone, disappearing from Gojyo's life. The crimson haired demon wants to get him back but does not know how until a short tempered monk visits him to persuade the return of Chou Hakkai. Please R&R! Rated for language


"Gojyo, sweety."

The crimson-haired halfbreed glanced over in the direction of the airy, flirtateous voice. A young girl with a large chest, dawning a simple short Chinese dress walked towards him smiling. "I have not seen you around here recently.Where have you been? You have not settled down with a single girl, have you?"

Chuckling, Gojyo raised his hand to shove aside the propostorous idea. "Of course not. I could never deny myself all the beauties of the world." Laughing at this statement, the girl took his words as invitation. She lifted her hands to clasp them around Gojyo's muscular forearm.

"I'm glad to hear that." She spoke quietly, batting her eyelashes as if suggesting something. Smiling instinctively, Gojyo pulled his arm away from her grasp.

"It was nice to see you again." Gojyo lied. "We'll...uh, get together sometime." Unwilling to continue the formalities, he turned his heal and walked away.

Sha Gojyo, hands in his pockets, followed the street that led to his crappy one-room apartment. Many girls hit on him along the way, but he continued on without a second glance; one thing the former Gojyo would never do. Yet at that time, the crimson-haired youkai had only one thought in his mind: Chou Hakkai.

Gojyo slid against the rigid door of his apartment upon his return. Sighing heavily, the usual flirtateous, michevious glow that resided within his blood-red orbs was extinct; replaced by the dim light of loneliness.

Walking over to his bed on the far side of the room, Gojyo laid down and gazed upon the cracked ceiling above. As time passed, Sha Gojyo recalled the letter; the last communication he had with Hakkai:

_Dearest Gojyo; I am afraid that I can not stay with you any longer. There is an affair east of here that requires my attention. Thank you for caring for me. Perhaps we will meet again one day._

_Sincerely Yours, Hakkai_

Lighting the tip of his _Lucky Strike_, Gojyo took a deep long drag before ommitting the smoke in a steady stream from his lips. "Damn you, Hakkai. I never would have suspected you were this selfish. You really are a prick, aren't you?" Several more minutes passed as Gojyo absentmindedly smoked his cigarette. A knock on his door immediately interrupted his thought process. Once he got up to answer it, he wish he had not.

"What the hell do you want, baldy?"

Sanzo twitched but, lukily for Gojyo, the high priest did not seek retribution with his banishing gun. Shoving his way inside prior to being invited, Sanzo took a seat at Gojyo's shabby and delapidated table. Knowing he could not force Sanzo from his home, Gojyo sighed heavily and closed the door.

"Why are you here?" The kappa asked, removing another cigarette from his pack and lighting it.

"I came to talk about Hakkai." Gojyo flinched at the mention of his best friend's name. Sanzo did not even have to turn his back to be aware of this. Sitting quietly at the table, waiting for Gojyo to join him, Sanzo lit his own cigarette. Giving in, Gojyo grumbled as he made his way over and took a seat. Slamming his right hand down, the crimson-haired youkai exclaimed,

"What about Hakkai? And why the fuck do you think I wanna hear about anything that has to do with that bastard?" Growling to himself, Gojyo continued his rantings inwardly.  
"Apparently," Sanzo began, not caring if Gojyo wanted to hear the news or not. "Hakkai was spotted 30 kilometres east of here. He started teaching in a small school house. Much like he did before he sought his revenge." While delving out the information, Sanzo kept a steady gaze on his commrade. Gojyo listened, his eyes downcast to the far wall. He never said a word, even after Sanzo had completed. "What I want to know," Sanzo stated, his voice escalating with annoyance. "Is why the hell you let Hakkai get away!"

The half-demon did not even flinch.

"I did not _let_ him go." Gojyo finally replied. "He had already gone by the time I got back. I just did not go after him."

"Why?" Sanzo snaped, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Because I had no reason to."

Sanzo froze. Staring at Gojyo, his mouth fell agape. It took several seconds, but after he replied he expected Gojyo to lash out at what he said. "You love Hakkai."

No response. No scream of disgust, no defense in his "obvious heterosexuality"; simply a turn of the head to look farther across the room and away from Sanzo's eyes.

Sanzo sat back in his chair, contemplating. It made sense now. Hakkai apparently left because he either was not convinced of Gojyo's love, or he was feeling emotions of loss and heartache. It was clear that Hakkai himself did not run for fear of Gojyo's affections. After all, having his sister for a lover was proof enough that he was no stranger to taboo.

"Look," Sanzo sighed in annoyance. "If you love him, go after him. That's what I _should_ say if I gave a shit about either of you. As it is, I don't. But what I _do_ care about is getting all these damned people off my back about Hakkai's disappearance. I assume him leaving was your fault, so go get him back." Without another word, Sanzo stood to leave the room. Before he disappeared into the hallway, Gojyo smirked.

"Heh. You know what, priesty?" Sanzo stopped and glanced back, annoyed at the kappa before him. "I can see right through you. You pretend to be this bastard who gives a flaming fuck about nothing... but because you took your time to come and visit me like this, I can finally see what you really are like." Turning his head to gaze at the high Buddhist monk, Gojyo's smile lengthened. Narrowing his eyes in suspicion because the mischevious glow in his commrade's eyes was back, Sanzo twitched. Against his better judgement, he snarled,

"And what is it that you claim to see so clearly?"

Gojyo chuckled. "You loooooooooove me." Sanzo's right temple twitched dangerously. "You're jealous; that's why you came all this way to see me."

_BANG!_

Before Gojyo had the time to dodge, Sanzo had removed his gun from his waist, pointed it at the water sprite, aimed and fired. The bullet grazed Gojyo's cheek, leaving a trickle of blood down his face. The crimson-haired demon's pupils grew smaller in shock. Without releasing his aim on Gojyo, Sanzo removed a piece of paper from within his robes and threw it at the half demon. "Don't you _ever_ say something that stupid again." With that, Sanzo left the apartment.

It took nearly ten minutes for Gojyo's focus on reality to return. Perhaps joking about the priest's sexuality was the one thing that got him fired up. _But,_ Gojyo smiled, retrieving the piece of paper, _I know he loves me._ As he opened the paper, Gojyo's eyes constricted once again. On it lay the directions to the small village that Hakkai had fled to.

(_Two Days Later..._)

Gojyo stood on the threshold of the village not ten feet from the school house. In the doorway, saying his farewells to all the students as they left for the day, Hakkai was smiling. The heart in the halfbreed's chest was pounding fervently as he stared, immobile. _How am I going to face him?_ He thought, his palms beginning to sweat as he held the remains of the directions to the town in his right palm. _How can I convince him to come back with me?_ As more time passed and Gojyo remained in his hiding spot, the water sprite's thoughts ceased as he watched his beloved friend in silence.

_There is one thing, Hakkai. One thing I just could never bring myself to admit. It's that I love you...truly...dearly. I could never tell you_.

As the kids faded more and more into the distance, Gojyo received his chance to approach his best friend and former lover. Coming from behind his hideaway, Gojyo stood while he watched Hakkai's back retreat into the schoolhouse. Before he had the chance to disappear once more, Gojyo rose his voice to call out: "Hakkai!"

Turning to face him, Hakkai's green eyes widened in shock as he stared at the man who had called out his name.

"Gojyo..." He whispered.

_Owari_.

Does anything happen between the two of them? Does Gojyo convince Hakkai to come back and be with him? Or simply to meet up with Sanzo? What the hell happened to Goku? All these questions shall be answered by you, in your own way.

Haaaa... I do _love_ writing cliff-hangers. xD


End file.
